It’s been a while, have another pregnancy rant.

January 10th, 2012 |Published in Uncategorized | Link to this Post| 2 replies

So two different people on two separate occasions have thought it appropriate to say some variation of the following to me: “Just you wait until … happens, then you’ll be …”.

Just for future reference, just in case you felt like those sentences were somewhere near your mouth and you are somewhere near me, I feel I should make you aware that THIS IS UNHELPFUL. It’s like you’ve come across a car accident, and there’s someone hanging out of an upside down vehicle, their right leg is missing and they’re weak with blood loss. You could be supportive and assist them, but instead, you choose to tut and mutter ‘just you wait until you try to use the underground with one leg, then you’ll be in trouble”.

If you have asked me how I am, and I have chosen to give you a truthful response, EVEN IF YOU THINK I AM BEING DRAMATIC, it is not appropriate to essentially tell me that I know nothing, and I have worse ahead, even if that is in fact the truth, which I have no doubt that it is. Is it your place to point that out to me? Is it your place to visibly judge me? To decide that you know better about how I am dealing with this? Or should you just keep that to yourself and tell me that you’re sorry I feel this way?

Clue: That’s what you should do, that right there, the shutting up and the keeping of your opinion to yourself, if I have told you I am miserable, you just tell me to hang in there and if you MUST say anything else, you say that it will get BETTER, NOT WORSE.

Pregnancy update: Woo hoo! My back is officially rubbish. I have never had a bad back, I have had pain in my back for different reasons, but not actual back pain. In the last week it has become apparent that I cannot walk for longer than five minutes without excruciating back pain, like someone has tied an elastic band around my spine and is pulling it tighter and tighter. I have only worn sensible, ugly shoes for a week and apparently that makes zero difference. I am hoping that yoga and aqua-natal help, but at this point, it might be easier to cut out my spine, if this continues for the next 14 weeks, I might have to.

Heart palpitations, what the effing ef are they about? Having never heard more than the soft thud of my expertly working heart for the last 30 years, suddenly it will start beating up against my chest like a whiny child, “pay me more ATTENTION, why aren’t you LISTENING to me? I will THUD and BEAT and make you feel SHOCKING until you realise just how important I am, HEAR ME”.

But I mean who am I to say that I feel terrible and I can’t wait for my body behave normally again? Who am I to tell you that this is pretty miserable, when you know that I have SO MUCH WORSE TO COME.

In other news, my absolute favourite thing that anyone said to me this weekend was John, on Sunday morning, when he leaned over and said softly in my ear, “it’s ok baby, if there were a person in my penis I probably wouldn’t want to have sex”.

I hadn’t ever thought of it like that before.