So this is valentine’s day when you’re married.

February 14th, 2012 |Published in pregnancy | Link to this Post| 1 reply

If I give birth in the pool, do you think I should wear a bikini top or not?

I can’t see you being happy to be totally naked, but it’s fine if you are so it’s your choice

That’s what I was thinking, just letting it all hang out, boobs akimbo, it’s really not me… But then for skin to skin contact afterwards I’ll probably just whip it off so what’s the point?

It’s up to you though, whatever you’re comfortable with

Yeah… maybe I’ll take one so I have the option… Oh god, the thing is I just have this scene in my head; I’m in the pool, you’re outside it, I’m leaning on you and you can see straight down my back… and then suddenly… without any warning… there’s a poo

A poo?

Yes!  That’s why we have to pack a sieve!  The hospital says we have to take our own sieve!  In case there’s a poo!

Oh right

And I CANNOT BEAR the thought of pooing in front of people, I just CAN’T DO IT

Ok… How about, and this is just an idea, how about I run you a warm bath, and you get into it, then I sit with you in the bathroom while you have a poo

What?

I can do it after you if you’d like, and then we’re even, then we’ve both poo’d in front of each other, so by the time it happens during the birth, IF it happens, it’s no big deal, you’ll be over it.

I can’t… Are you… Is this… Are you suggesting I have a rehearsal poo?  You are in fact actually thinking that me pooing, in the bath, in our bathroom, in front of you, might make me feel better?

But I said I would do it too!  And then we’re even!

I can’t speak to you anymore

So that’s a no then?

That’s a no.