We decided not to have a wedding list. There were two reasons for this, it was because we were getting married in Spain and appreciated the expense it took for people to join us so did not feel it appropriate to also ask for gifts, and because we have everything.  I mean we don’t have EVERYTHING, [...]

Her:  Have you collected your dress? Me:  Yes, I had a last fitting which was completely disastrous.  No one should be allowed to watch Pippa Middleton and her perfect arse walk up the aisle of Westminster Abbey in her bespoke Alexander McQueen and then try on a wedding dress, because THAT is a RECIPE for DISASTER. Her:  I think you [...]

Day two and aaaah, sweet carby breakfast, the breakfast of overweight champions, I really am missing those pancakes.  My teeth are not missing them. Mohamed arrived for our second guided tour and took us around a Moroccan stately home, complete with a tour of exactly where the former prime minister kept his 28 wives (4 [...]

Breakfast in Morocco is sweet carby goodness.  It is all beige.  It is AMAZING.  It’s mostly pancakes and bread smothered in honey, accompanied by mint tea which is 70% sugar.  This means for about three hours you are FLYING, and then you crash so hard you have to nap, or you’ll beat each other to [...]