We decided not to have a wedding list. There were two reasons for this, it was because we were getting married in Spain and appreciated the expense it took for people to join us so did not feel it appropriate to also ask for gifts, and because we have everything.  I mean we don’t have EVERYTHING, [...]

We had three different sets of musicians, extravagant?  Why yes!  Worth it?  Why again, yes!  A beautiful soprano who is more used to playing the Palau de la Musica Catalana sang two Arias during our wedding service; Nella Fantasia, and La Novia with a piano and guitarist.  There was a jazz band who played while guests [...]

We had quite the wedding week.  Yep, WEEK.  Suck it people who think we were self-indulgent, we only plan on getting married once so we did  it properly.  What is all this nonsense about taking the day off before and then maybe stretching it out over a weekend, have a week!  yeah baby!  Because that way at [...]

Before we went to Spain, John and I had to sign a fairly important piece of paper in London.  We had planned to do this in Islington, but Islington smells of farts, so we did it in Marylebone Old Town Hall, a rather grand affair with a lovely staircase.  I recommend getting married there for [...]

Hello! It’s been a while, how you doing?  Probably better than me, if you can stand up I envy you, tell me your secret.  No, I’m not hung over, I have falling down disease again, went to bed on Sunday a perfectly healthy (married) person, and awoke on monday to a strange fuzzy head and [...]

Here’s what a healthy, quite fit 30 year old found when she embarked on a six small meal a day eating plan, as put together by a somewhat gothic looking personal trainer. You notice an immediate difference (I mean, within a week), in weight, in how your clothes fit.  This diet works fast, no joke.  Your [...]

Her:  Have you collected your dress? Me:  Yes, I had a last fitting which was completely disastrous.  No one should be allowed to watch Pippa Middleton and her perfect arse walk up the aisle of Westminster Abbey in her bespoke Alexander McQueen and then try on a wedding dress, because THAT is a RECIPE for DISASTER. Her:  I think you [...]

So, I have an eating plan, this is to maximise my metabolism, keep everything efficient and tip top before D.Day, which is now less than six weeks away. Dun Dun Duh!   This eating plan means that instead of eating three meals a day, I now eat six.  SIX.  And this, all for a person [...]

You think I’m joking, I’m not.  In the past week my mother collapsed with food poisoning while we watched the band that we’ve hired for the wedding, and I nearly killed the nine year old manager of the day venue. There you go, that’s two nearly deaths in one small week. It started in Spain with [...]

Last night at the spinning class I am going to twice a week, something dripped into my eye.  I looked up at the ceiling, nothing there… I looked around me, no one was flinging anything at my face… It happened again, I touched my forehead and there it was, the river of sweat pouring down [...]